I let things pile up
That may not have even been entirely honest… if by “pile up” you think i mean merely letting a few things stand in a pile.
No… when i let things pile up, i REALLY let them do so.
Really.
When school work comes due, i put it off until the last possible second. I’m currently working on some correspondence classes… for the second time… mere days before they’re due or i never get a diploma.
Laundry? Put it off. At camp last summer, I “saved time” by walking to the dollar store to buy new socks, rather than washing my clothes. At home currently, i make a pile of clothes i think i might feel like wearing soon, and wash them… and then reuse them until they acquire mustard or flour stains. I do laundry only when it becomes my last option.
Emails. Ah, emails. Until just now, my “read but unresponded to” mail was in the upper 200s. I put them off.
Food. I only really eat if i’m eating with someone else. I mean, that’s the only time a meal is called for. If it’s just me, I’ll eat chips and popcorn and cucumbers until forever.
Blogs. Right– knew we were getting there eventually, yeah? See, i have this problem… I start a blog and get really in to it for a while. And then I don’t update for a bit. Sometimes because i don’t have time… then i have the perfect post but can’t decide exactly how to phrase it… then it’s been way too long to expect anyone to still read my blog. So i don’t update it. But a week later, a great thought hits me. So i behave logically: I start a new blog. Ergo my recent silence. (except i’ve come back here to update this, rather than start a new blog. baby steps, friends.)
But i’m like this in my walk with God, too. I let things pile up. I let one passed up opportunity to speak life into someone’s life turn into three or five. I let one missed time set apart for him turn into a week of muttered excuses. I try to beat a sin in a certain area, but once i’ve given in once, it’s easier to give in the next time and the next…
And as with the rest of my life, good intentions fall to the side and guilt creeps in, taking its place, and I get stuck in these ruts that I don’t even realize are miles deep.
In a bathroom last week, there was a chalkboard which was blank. Without giving it much thought, I walked up to it and wrote “when you get lost, do the next right thing.”
I’d read it in a book somewhere and the phrase wanted to be on the board.
So here’s my next right thing: I’m updating this blog.
I’m making a schedule and sticking to it.
I’m following the two-minute rule: if someone asks/emails/calls about something that can be handled in two minutes or fewer, i do it right away.
I know i’m going to mess up, going to let things pile up, going to feel overwhelmed. But i’m going to listen a little less to the voice of guilt and a little more to the voice of grace. Sometimes
