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Question (and a short post)

So I’ve realized something about myself…  and in an effort to start interacting with y’all more frequently AND to actually post things that don’t take me three weeks to think through and find photos, I’m gonna (hopefully) start giving you, dear reader, some of my shorter thoughts.

Like this one I threw at a friend the other day:
I think I’ve discovered a hypocrisy in myself…  
In conversations with people, I tend to give them grace, peppered with Truth– but when I have to choose, it’s just grace.  Strong, honest feedback when I am pushed and need to choose, but mostly I want to draw out what they need through questions, to refuse judgment and to not let them define themselves by their failure, even when I can’t possibly see good come from the situation.
i’ve moved (for the most part, in casual conversations or those middle of the night freak-out calls) farther away from giving answers (ever… much to the frustration of some)… choosing, instead, to toss out question after question to help both of us understand a bigger picture of the original issue.  
But in conversations where I have the issue, it’s different. 
I don’t want for people to take time to find ways to show me grace…  
I just want the cut-and-dried, honest feedback– however mean it may come out.  We can go from there and edit and revise….  I just want your gutteral response.  
I posed this to my friend as grace v Truth… and we agreed this set the wrong dichotomy, though we couldn’t find words that properly conveyed the issue.  
My question... 
i don’t know if this is because I secretly think others incapable of showing me grace and Truth held in what I believe is the proper tension…  or perhaps because of a pride that doesn’t allow me to believe that others can handle the blunt Truth, but that of course i can and that’s what i want?  
My instinct is to say that grace is Truth, because truth in its Truest form is grace, because both are a reflection of God– are God… it’s what Tozer says about God’s infinitude– all that He is, He is without limit.  Because God is Truth (truth in its Truest form… see my high school English prof who thought he was a philosophy prof, for the difference betwixt the two) and because God is grace, then the two in their purest form need not oppose each other… because both are a reflection of God.  So we don’t have to choose one over the other.
But because I’m a person who perhaps analyzes every little detail about my life and my head, I’m wondering if maybe that’s just a cop out, and it really is as simple as one of the other options.
Can’t help but wonder what my issue is… and if everyone else finds it easy to choose one over the other.  

4 Comments

  1. One thing I have come to admire about you is the fact that you are honest…. even if it is bluntly. I think it is more important to speak the Truth (because it is in grace) then to let someone continue on living in fault….or whatever you could call it. How do we continue to grow in our faith/walk, if we don’t don’t know what needs refined?

  2. @ Alycia: It’s that whole thing of speaking truth into people’s lives… I know we need to hear it. I just rather people recognize it for themselves. i think my ability to hold the two in tandem fluctuate depending on how much sleep i’ve had.

    I think that in the moments when I take that “this is how we grow” thought to heart in my conversations, they’re probably more productive. Thanks for that.

  3. (I realize you posted this… a year and a half ago. But my mind is turning tonight, and words were actually flowing, so here you go)

    Truth is incomplete if it’s only pointing out what’s wrong.

    Let me try to understand what I mean by that, and hopefully explain it in the process of processing it myself. (Scratch that sentence if it’s too confusing)

    The Truth is, we make mistakes.
    The Truth is, sometimes we’re wrong.
    The Truth is, consequences can hurt.

    But the Truth is…there’s also Grace.
    Truth is, life can still be beautiful.
    The Truth is, we need more that just “You’re wrong.”, “That was stupid”, or “Yeah, you need to change this” if we’re going to actually live.

    If the Truth is showing what’s lacking, but not showing what is still there or what could be, then it’s incomplete.

    I’d say? Don’t try to give “the Truth in love”, but rather give Grace that is Truth.

    (I guess what I’m saying is choose grace, because it’s usually got life-giving truth in it. While truth often won’t have grace in it.)

    But I’ll go back to my first sentence, Truth is incomplete if it’s only pointing out what’s wrong.

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